I haven’t been on here in a few weeks. Rightfully so…. bringing up baby is exhausting work! But very awesome. I love watching her grow… and she has! She’s 6 lbs. 13 oz as of our last appointment and looking great!

She’s started the “coo” and “ahh” noises and the sweet little smiles. And so much more alert. Especially at night………….. But she’s such a sweet baby. I love her. SO MUCH. I love watching her make 50 faces in a minute. She plays 1-2-3 face like no other.

One fun thing is taking her out places. She plays possum. We get her in the car seat and in the car and she is OUT. Driving around, she is in total sleep mode. We get home and unbuckle the seat: “ooooo-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Cry. And her cry is funny. I’ll have to get it uploaded somehow. I am definitely hoping technology allows me to save it and play it for her once she’s older..

She was really letting it out one night… I was totally tapped, I had changed her, fed her, we were just laying in bed and of course Shayne was at work. She was just wailing. I just had to take her picture because she looked so funny, lol. I hope this isn’t cruel in some politically correct circles.

She’s also started the “where’s mommy?” cries. She’ll be seemingly content, fed, changed, binky and all of a sudden she’ll start making noises that imitate her usual “I need stuff” crying. I’ll walk over and nuzzle her, she’ll stop and be totally fine. It kinda makes me happy… ha. I know she doesn’t necessarily “love” me yet, but it makes me feel like she does. I know she just needs me for stuff like…survival right now.

Her Aunt Brandy and Uncle Beau have been with us for 2 weeks! She’s gotten lots of qt with her aunt and uncle and also had veeeewy beautiful pictures taken of her. I can’t wait to see them and share them. I’m going to be that mom on Facebook with those albums of her baby. Yup. I have the most beautiful baby. We had to keep pushing back the session because Miss Crazy Lady was awake and FUSSY. I don’t blame them for sticking with weddings even though she did an amazing job posing her, baby photography requires fierce patience. Newborn/baby photographers, I salute you.

We took the family to Cheekwood Gardens in Nashville and to Memphis this past weekend. Audrey pretty much slept through all the fun.

And… my very first Mother’s Day! So special. I’ll never have another one and more than anything I feel so overwhelmed at what she has brought to my life. You hear it all the time, but these feelings are indescribable. Last Mother’s Day I had NO IDEA that a year later I would be looking into my daughter’s eyes, feeling so thankful for her life. It’s pretty surreal. And Sunday was no exception. Although, it didn’t even feel “right” celebrating Mother’s day, in a way. I don’t feel like a “mother” yet. That word has a much more accomplished connotation to me, anyway. I guess I feel like a mom because I had a baby but until I am up with her all night because she has a fever that forbids her to sleep, or teaching her right from wrong, helping her with homework, teaching her how to play piano or hearing her say, “I love you, Mom”… I just don’t feel like her mother yet like my mom feels to me. But what a great day. I love her!

It’s been exactly one week since our precious babe was born! Yay!

But she has grown so much in just a week… and after going to the doctor for her little jaundice issue and getting the phototherapy biliblanket, it’s getting better! Her bilirubin level was not that of concern anyway, but just to help us along, our doctor gave us the blanket to take home and she’s been sleeping on it nonstop. Its pretty groovy….

Her cord fell off so she also got her first bath today. Very exciting… Henry was very intrigued, never left her side in the bathroom.

Proud daddy.. he did such a good job with her bath

Monday April 16, 2011

Audrey has been home for 3 days… today was our first day alone together without Daddy. He went to work for a few hours and left us to sleep, eat and go potty. And literally, that’s all I have been doing too. It was so nice to have family here, we are VERY appreciative, having the support from my parents and friends helping us, but these days alone with her have been the most enjoyable/rewarding/successful. We FINALLY have nursing under control and I am no longer having anxiety about it but more importantly, we are all bonding. Which we did not get to do a lot of last week in the hospital for different reasons.

There are so many things I want to purge from this experience and document as they happen, but my mind is going 1000 different directions at once. I am being met with new challenges and triumphs every hour! I am trying to keep her fed, myself from climbing up the walls from pain/soreness and making sure I am loving on Shayne as much as I am fawning over her. She is so lovable. I was not prepared, nor was I ever going to be, for the absolute JOY and fuzzy, happy feelings I have for her. Shayne was kind of getting on to me in a joking way that I need to put her DOWN! ha. I have my hands on her constantly and I can’t stop kissing her, hugging, snuggling, and poking at her sweet little hands and feet. She just amazes me!

Having her home is such a relief. From the beginning, our plan was to exclusively breastfeed. It was very important to me (and Shayne). I was having a difficult time with starting the process in the hospital, unfortunately. We just weren’t given the privacy, peace and quiet necessary and the medication I was hooked up to in my IV was slowing the process too. As much as the nurses gave me instruction/advice.. the best thing they could have done was stay the hell away from our room! lol. Next time I know to tell the staff to BACK OFF for at least a couple hours and demand quiet time. But once we got home, settled and alone… Audrey and I took our sweet time and finally made it happen. And as a new mom… I must say, one of the best accomplishments thus far. I was not going to give up and I am so glad I didn’t. Its been SO rewarding in just these few days. Bottle feeding does have its advantages but none come close to that of nursing.

So now that we have that going for us… we’re still trying to get some sort of sleep. We finally got settled into bed after prepping diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. for the middle-of-the-night urgencies… which took most of about an hour… and as we both closed our eyes ready to sink into slumber, all of a sudden Miss Audrey let out the biggest poop of her 4 day old life. All we could do was bust out laughing. Exhausted, and totally helpless to her digestive functions, we both got up and still laughing, changed her poopy diaper… at 1 a.m. Together.

We go to the pediatrician again tomorrow to check her jaundice. I am worried but realize its pretty common so hopefully we’ll get it taken care of. And I have to go back to the doctor to check my blood pressure… really hoping its gone down! And also, while still in recovery, I was getting back the feeling of my leg(s) but my right leg was not really coming back to life. I could move my left leg, but my right remained tingly and asleep. The anesthesiologist came by… but they never said why this would happen. SO frustrating. I had to stay in recovery longer than anticipated. I couldn’t get my catheter out and was limited to the bed. It was pretty miserable. Even after getting up to the post partum room after getting up and kinda walking with help, parts of my right leg were still asleep. I couldn’t put weight on it without it giving out. Well, I am still having some issue with it. Not as bad and I notice its S L O W L Y improving because I can walk on it, and put weight on it, but it will give out if I put too much. I am confined to the upstairs which is kinda making me stir crazy.

But all in all, things are feeling somewhat normal. The lack of sleep is to be expected so I havent really been too disappointed. Its really not as bad as some people lead on. If you just nap when she naps…then you get enough sleep.

Becoming a mommy these past few days has been pretty incredible. I find myself feeling overwhelmed, not by her diaper changes, but I just look at her and my heart feels like its too big for my chest. I am making mistakes, learning who she is and how to care for every of her needs… its pretty AWESOME. I’ve never been so nervous to fail or so happy to succeed at any one thing in my life! I love you, sweet Audrey. So happy we’re all home.

She is BEAUTIFUL.

HOLY CRAP WE’RE PARENTS! I am a MOMMY. My husband… a DADDY. And it all happened in a blink of an eye! Like… we were JUST at the doctor…. getting my blood pressure checked and all of a sudden I am strapped to an IV getting induced…for labor! Ahh!

Last Monday I had my routine 37 week check up. After work Shayne & I went to the office just business as usual. After checking my blood pressure, which was extremely high and also finding lots of protein in my urine, the doctor had me lay down, relax and rechecked my pressure again. It went higher. They monitored the baby, everything looking great, but told us we shouldn’t be surprised if we delivered a baby the next day. WHAT!

He sent me home to rest and had us go back to his office Tuesday morning to recheck my BP. And also ordered me that I no longer work until after baby was born and beyond. My blood pressure was too high and I needed to rest. I had planned on Friday 13th to be my last day but… she had other plans for me. Tuesday morning, my blood pressure was even higher. They monitored the baby for about an hour and concluded, it was time to get this little baby out so my condition did not cause permanent damage to me or baby. Doc ordered us to go to the hospital immediately, do not pass go or collect $200 (or LUNCH!… I was so hungry!)

After an hour of trying to find the parking garage of the maternity ward of the hospital we did not plan on delivering at but was ordered to go to…. we made it in and I was hooked up to pitocin, magnesium sulfate and fluids immediately. Shortly after, they came in to put in the epidural so I would not feel ANYTHING, EVER, THE WHOLE TIME. lol. And even now that I am at home, I still have trouble with my right leg… and walking on it. And no wonder I blew up like a balloon during the labor/delivery… they pumped me full of fluid for 24+ hours. Magnesium was the worst of it. It made me feel icky, sicky and tired. I slept as much as I could.

My mom and step dad arrived from Houston after driving through the night, at 3 a.m. Right before I was 10 cm and started pushing. Our labor and delivery nurse was a total super woman. She was with us the whole night and along with Shayne, coached me for 3 hours of pushing and even though her shift was over at 6:00, she insisted on staying until Audrey was born since she had been with me all night.

Pushing was difficult, because my body is a little deformed and… well, my pelvic bone is flat. So Audrey was inevitably going to have a hard time getting under it and was going to need some help. In a weird twist of fate, she was turned, so her ear was facing upward. Which, thankfully, and was probably the only reason I could deliver her sans surgery. At 1.5 hours of pushing, the doctor came in and asked which option we’d like to consider, c-section, forceps or vacuum. I did not want a c-section if I could help it so I said I wanted to push as long as I could and would be safe for the both of us. Another hour and some change passed and I was still trying. Our sweet labor nurse was with us, being so patient and encouraging and having nice, soothing conversation with me and Shayne as I tried to get Miss Audrey out. I am so grateful for that nurse and Shayne… she was AMAZING and he was so supportive, every moment at my side. At 3 hours, Doc came in and said it was time to deliver. We just couldn’t safely continue the way things were going. A whole slew of NICU nurses rushed in, another delivery nurse and the vacuum came out and I pushed 15 more minutes and baby Audrey came into the world Wednesday morning, April 11 at 6:52 a.m. I have never seen Shayne so… out of his SKIN before… he was so beside himself, it was amazing. I was in total shock, I dont think I said anything. I literally couldn’t, she took my breath away. Shayne followed her wherever they took her and would not leave her side for a second. He is totally and completely in love with her. Everything I could have hoped for…

Miss Audrey, you are our entire world! You really have no idea how much joy you have brought to our lives. We love you… more and more each day, with every diaper change, every fussy cry, every feeding and sweet little breath you take. We love you more than you’ll ever know. You are our dream come true.

THANK YOU everyone who visited us and sent well wishes, (flowers!), sweet messages and took care of us during this time. We appreciate everything! We hope to see some of you soon and let you love all over Miss Audrey.

…happenings from home soon.

Recently I had a dream that was so crystal clear! I could see her, her features, little face, little feet, her LONG eyelashes… I haven’t had a dream that was so vivid of her. We must be getting close…

She was pulled up to me and all I saw was this brown-haired, HUGE BROWN-eyed, beautiful baby girl. In my dream, and in real life, I think my heart stopped. She was breathtaking! I am so, so, so, over-the-moon excited to meet her. It is absolutely KILLING me that I have had to wait this long. Shayne said the other day, “This is the longest you’ve had to wait for anything!” Ha, well, that would be true if he hadn’t taken almost 2 years to propose, even though unbeknownst to me he had my ring 5 months after we met.

So, of course I have been waging in my head…. my blue eyes?….Shayne’s black hair?… I am hoping, she definitely is blessed with his big eyes and long eyelashes and hopefully his cute little nose. The only thing of mine I hope she inherits are my hands, feet and eye color. Everything else… I think Shayne was made to bring a beautiful child into this world. Although, I hope she inherits better hair than her parents. Shayne’s is close to nonexistant and mine, well, might as well be.

I mean, come on… was he not the cutest baby in the whole universe?… Audrey is going to stop traffic in Japan.

so adorable

I looked like a boy and was chubby.

Check out Miss Thang’s wardrobe for the next 3 years, lol. Thank you, EVERYONE, who contributed to this clown car of threads for Audrey. We are so appreciative (overwhelmed at times!) and thankful for the hand-me-downs, gifts and thoughtful gestures! Lucky little baby!

And some things have been set up in her room but still just a few things need to be set in place. And I have been so indecisive about what to do with all those books we received at the baby shower.

…from Daddy-to-be

Could I get any bigger?! I am huge. …and not to mention these SWOLLEN ankles/feet. Can she come out and play yet?

Shayne and I planned an uninterrupted, 3 whole days together for a “staycation babymoon”. Much needed! It’s hard to imagine a life where it will not be just the two of us. It’s kind of…. strange. I can’t wrap my head around it yet, but getting in as much time together, beyond prepping for baby, is top of the list right now - we are both feeling anxious about our dynamic changing. I am sure a lot of expecting couples go through this. We both needed these few days to bond and just relax together. We’ve been working, only to see each other at passing moments and sleeping whenever we have time to put our heads on a pillow - we needed to relax, not worry about cleaning, laundry, the nursery or working! He was driving me to work and said “I dont want to go back to work, I want more time with you.” Me too. We’ve been just Caroline & Shayne for almost 6 years… what’s it going to be like with a baby!?

Shayne bought us tickets to see The Hunger Games movie, which was good! He even enjoyed it… I think.. We went by HoneyBaked Ham randomly and bought ourselves a ham, which the only reason I mention this is because after baby is born…. DEFINITELY want one of these in the fridge. SO convenient! We have been eating on it for a couple days - breakfast… lunch.. dinner.. snack…whatever! Sunday we slept in late (I haven’t slept til 9:30 in MONTHS!) and decided to go to South Cumberland State Park, specifically Stone Door. Its a nice 2 hour drive from our house, we drove up into the mountains… gorgeous. We got to Stone Door and did some hiking (yep… I did some hiking… not to worry, I didn’t over do it. Obviously, since I haven’t gone into labor) to Laurel Falls, where we had a sweet picnic of ham sandwiches overlooking the falls (gorgeous!)…

We had our picnic on those flat rocks in the top left corner.

…setting up our picnic

the water was FREEZING!

…and then a short hike to the actual Stone Door and overlooks. It was absolutely phenomenal! So worth the EPIC swollen ankles and feet. And so glad we did that so I could just sit and take in the landscape that looked so incredible (it looked FAKE - like a Bob Ross painting).

a friendly couple of hikers took this for us thanks for not getting my huge cankles!

GORGEOUS!

Audrey belly looks HUGE

so awesome

Daddy did this…

I got all kinds of encouragement from hikers/families on the trails! They jokingly said they hoped I didnt go into labor up there but everyone was so surprised how far along I was and hiking through the mountains. I felt totally fine beyond swelling ankles/feet and lots of sweating!

My anxiety and hormones are just beyond my grasp at this point. We were in Target getting the diaper genie (YAY) and then went to look at picture frames on sale. I just got overwhelmed with looking at the frames! I almost broke down in tears… IN TARGET! OVER PICTURE FRAMES! I just put my face in my hands and told Shayne I dont want to look at these anymore.. haha.. He was so sweet. I was sitting in her room, folding MORE clothes (I will NEVER say we have TOO many but it is seriously like… mind blowing how many outfits/onesies/pants etc we have for her, she is a lucky baby). But I have separated everything into size in her drawer and I was attempting to fit more in the already cramped space and I just broke down. Shayne was organizing her closet and just told me to set everything down and go lay down with Macee. I am a WRECK! I have been totally fine these past 9 months, Shayne and I were actually surprised at my mild temperament but I see now that the end is near… I am having a hard time keeping it together. But, no shame.

I am just as swollen and huge as I think I could possibly get… I am becoming so uncomfortable. I slept horribly the last few nights.. tossing, turning, peeing. Shayne says I have now started to moan and groan in my sleep from my discomforts. Macee will cuddle with me and then I’ll shove her away because she’s getting in the way of Audrey belly. It’s more of a hassle to sleep at night. I actually get better rest during the day with a cat nap. I am ready… but I guess the question is, is SHE?

36 WEEKS!

We had our 36 week appointment and everything is checking out fine. She is in birth position and measuring fine. We are just getting the last few things prepared - Shayne got the car seat installed, we took the breastfeeding class and the bags are all PACKED Now I just need her to hold off at least 1.5 more weeks so I can go on my leave! ..and maybe get some REST and get this house cleaned too…maybe….

less than a month to go and we’ll have a little girl in the house!

We are beyond fortunate to have talented (and super creative!) photographers in the family. They have been there to photograph all of our big moments, engagement, showers, wedding and now BABY!
All the moments these two have captured for/of us, all the pictures we have of ourselves (ha!) to cherish… but now more than ever… being able to savor this amazing moment. It is SUCH a blessing to have this spectacular time in our lives captured in such amazing photography and pass it on to Audrey.. and hopefully HER babies. We are SO grateful!

I have been Brandy Burridge Photography’s number one fan since its humble beginnings. I was always really looking forward to her maternity session posts on the blog. I love their wedding portfolio, of course. But the baby belly sessions really tugged at my heart strings and one picture of the posts would always make me misty-eyed, and in a way, hopeful. I dont know what it is about her maternity photography, I would just get emotional! Way before our pregnancy. So I was excited/anxious to see how we would pull this off. And once I saw the sneak peek of my session, it was a little surreal. I had seen so many beautiful maternity portraits of her past clients, that moment in their lives… always so gorgeous, glowing and happy… it is very surreal for that be us.

I am so thankful that we took these when we did, too, because at 34 weeks I am not very camera friendly.

So at 30 weeks, here are just a few from the set she posted on her blog and Facebook.

This is probably my favorite of what she posted. It just… KILLS ME. This handsome face tells exactly how Shayne is feeling about our baby on the way…

Brandy made these blocks(!) to go with the circus themed baby shower…

and last but not least… all Audrey belly!

Can’t you tell these photographers love this baby already!?
For more of my Audrey belly and to check out their beautiful weddings/engagements/portraits, go to www.brandyburridge.com and Facebook.

And this post of photos could not have come at a better time yesterday, I was so relieved after going to the doctor. Everything checked out perfect. Me and Audrey are great but we are just going to keep an eye on everything closely and hopefully her birthday will come soon and she will be healthy and beautiful!

Thank you Auntie Brandy and Uncle Beau for our Audrey belly photos! I can’t wait til the day I can hold her in my arms but thank you for these pictures to always remind me of this beautiful time in my life.

The weeks are just flying by… and there is still SO MUCH we need for baby! ahhhhh!

and my “bag” is not packed just yet… I think that’s a sign. She’s definitely gonna hang out in there til I at LEAST get my bag packed.

But for now, I am on bed rest for the next 5 days. I had been having some super swelling in my legs/ankles/feet and my lips/face were all spectacularly puffy… all accompanying high blood pressure and some other symptoms.. so we went to the hospital just to get checked out to be on the safe side. Nothing came up as imminent danger and Audrey was monitoring perfectly but they ordered me to bed rest. So hopefully all is well and I am just experiencing some last trimester pregnancy weirdness.

Before this little episode, Shayne and I had a nice afternoon together at Arrington Vineyards. Its only about 25 minutes from our house so, we decided to run out during the beautiful weather we had the past couple days before this rain rolled in, and had a picnic amongst the vines. Relaxing, reading, just being in 80 degree weather was awesome. I am so ready for Spring/Summer….. especially for days outside in the sun with my baby girl. I just wish there was a nearby beach

Its the end of week 32, roughly 8 weeks left - I can’t believe that’s IT! Doc said we can expect baby anywhere between 4-8 weeks… it’s bizarre to think 4, but I am kinda physically wanting to be… THERE.

The heartburn is creeping up, I am having some bouts of seriously hellacious reflux. My feet are swelling and fluid is hanging out on the tops of them and I am rolling out of bed like a slug to pee in the middle of the night every hour. My hair is really greasy too? Weird? and…. full disclosure…. the stretch marks are rearing their inevitable stamps of accomplishment: “heeeeeey, you made it to trimester 3, almost the end. here we are!” All of a sudden, literally overnight they showed up, in their blaze of glory.

And now, I do feel my body getting bigger. I feel more sluggish…. its definitely almost time. I can literally feel it.

But more than the physical inclinations she’s almost here.. my hormones are going a little awry. I recently had a 2 hour fiasco involving a diaper bag I ordered online and the customer service rep I had to deal with because they sent me the “wrong color.” I went on this rampage, talking to them for 45 minutes then calling the actual manufacturer of the bag and long story short? I ended up changing my mind altogether because I like the one they sent.
Shayne came home from work to me in hysterics.
Shayne is so patient, he really is the only guy for me. He looked at the bag, thought it looked great but said if I wanted the other color, I should have it. After asking him, oh about 6 times, if I should really keep the wrong color bag, he said the same thing each time, “If you like it, you should keep it. I like it.” Seriously, I was a freak show. Over a diaper bag. All is right in the world again but now I cannot stand dishes in the sink….. ya know, because God forbid Audrey come home and there be actual dirty dishes in our sink.. What will she THINK!?!? My emotions and anxiety is definitely getting the better of me, especially matters of the home and prepping for Audrey.

Hoping I can keep my head in check these last weeks… for Shayne’s sake

Its mid-week 31! I have been sick for a couple days but feel like I am coming out of it, thankfully. Audrey is just kicking away and being amazing, so I don’t feel as bad as I would have.

It’s really surreal to think in 9 weeks Shayne and I will have a little girl in our arms. It’s in my every waking thought! More so that yeah, we are having a BABY but, really, we’re having a PERSON. A person that will be with us for the rest of our lives. People always say “Yay, we’re having a baby!” Well, yeah. But that baby doesn’t stay baby for very long…. I walk around all day trying to make a mental list of things I want to teach her, things I want her to know, things I want her to avoid in life…that sort of thing..

One day at a time, right?…

But we’re getting close! In the single digits of weeks left. Prettyyyyy exciting!

We also had our fabulous circus baby shower, hosted by Brandy & Beau, at our house last weekend.

They drove up from Orlando and posted up with us for a whole week. Unbeknownst to us, (well they were of course “working” on photography biz stuff) they were baking yummy treats, cutting out decorations and prepping for the party. We really do not know how or why we deserved these two. Beyond throwing us this shower, they have been there for us our entire journey as C&S, definitely our biggest cheerleaders. Too much for this blog, but we are forever grateful for their sincere generosity and relentless positivity! They really are incredible. The best Aunt and Uncle-to-be for Miss Audrey since the very beginning. I think Brandy was going to jump out of her skin with excitement when we told her we were expecting. They have been so supportive of us expanding our family I know how much Audrey will love you two… especially since you live near “Disney World!” CANNOT WAIT for those trips. Thank you for going a gazillion lightyears past anything Shayne & I could have asked for or deserved for this shower. We are so grateful…

And lest I forget! Our sweet best friend Alexzandra! She flew all the way from L.A. to attend the shower and helped B2 with decorating and.. just being HERE! You are the epitome of a best friend! You are ALWAYS there for us, never a doubt that you’ll be there for any occasion.

We love you all so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I could never say it enough.

…And for our friends who attended the shower: THANK YOU!!!!! You made the day so fun and all your “wishes for Audrey” - most of them had Daddy-to-be and I in tears. Thank you for the sweet wishes and gifts.

For the family and friends who could not attend the festivities who sent well wishes & gifts: we wish we could have visited with you but thank you for showering Audrey. We appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Me and the mastermind behind all the circus cuteness, Auntie B:

Look at this adorable table scape! (Uncle Beau did a sweet job with those balloon animals!). Corn dogs, lion tamer’s whips, red velvet cupcakes, animal crackers with cake batter dip (party favorite, DELISH!) and sandwiches. All yum, yum, yum:

It was a circus!

And of course, Brandy Burridge Photography busted out their cameras and shot some very awesome belly photos of me and Audrey at week 30. Here’s a sneak peek of their work. (Check on their Facebook page for updates). Audrey looks fabulous!: